Damnit all to hell.
So does anyone else find me annoying these days? I don't know. Maybe it's PMS. I'm so annoyed with myself these days.
Check out Murphy's story:
http://www.petfinder.com/pet.cgi?action=2&pet=2500215
I would love to adopt him, but I have to think about my hairy daughter first:
You want to know how spoiled she is? Check out her bling:
You know what? I've decided I've got to get my act together. Career-wise. As I walk alongside these deluxe private offices with city-spanning views, it occurs to me that I almost never see the daylight anymore. During the week, I sit on the inside of insides of a giant 30-story building in the middle of Manhattan. By the time I go home, the world outside is pitch black. On the weekends, I end up sleeping late and what with the winter weather, by the time I get outside it is nearing sundown. Sad.
But these offices! They come in various sizes -- your average, small 200 sq. foot office, with a single window, room enough for a desk and chair and maybe a couple gadgets and doo-dads. Stereo system maybe. But there are offices that make you want to lie in the middle of their plush carpeted floors and just shiver with joy. Wall-to-wall windows. Views of the city. Large, commanding desks. Room enough for couches, TV's, your hairdresser and your pet poodle. Man, THESE are offices!! More like private living rooms.
I've got to get my act together! I've never had my own office and it seems like a damn shame to be missing out on all that sunlight.
OK, so I have a pet peeve about writing. If you don't want to go through life sounding like a frickin' idiot, please review the basic spelling guidelines for words that sound alike but are spelled differently:
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_spelhomo.html
If you're too lazy to click through, here are my ESSENTIALS (though they ALL are, you lazy fool):
"your" vs. "you're"
YOUR is possessive, YOU'RE is a contraction (combination) of YOU and ARE, that's what apostrophes do, remember? Don't be IM'ing me and writing, "Your going to dinner tonight, right?" I will thrash you.
"bye" vs. "buy"
Come on. this one is EASY. You BUY things with money. You say goodBYE to people when they leave. It's so simple! Just think, it's Best Buy, not Best Bye (that even looks retarded).
"then" vs. "than"
THAN is used in comparisons. She is better than him at everything. THEN is used for time: I'll see you later then. We're going to the gym, then afterwards grabbing a quick bite to eat. THEN sometims is used in comparisons too, like: If she's going to the market, THEN what is he doing? Please keep it straight, people. Just memorize it if you have to.
"it's" vs. "its"
OK, you might think this one is hard to keep straight, but it's not. Remember, apostrophes connect two words together! So IT'S is a contraction of IT and IS. Whereas ITS is a possessive: Its mine. We picked up its poo. Here's a trick sentence: It's mine. Hahahah...the word "mine" makes you think about possession, right? But remember, It's mine is short for, "IT IS MINE." All it takes is a little effort, and you can avoid massive stupidity.
"effect" vs. "affect"
Ahh...this one is hard. I often have to think about it myself. Just think about all those movie specials where they show you how they did the "special effects." That's how I remember the difference. Nobody every says "special affects," right? Because that's wrong. AFFECT is a verb. You affect someone with your magnetic smile. How does failing school affect your future? Whereas EFFECT is a noun. "Special (adjective) effects (noun)." The effects of greenhouse gases on our environment can only be interpreted as disastrous. What effect will failing school have on your future? Ehhhhh??? Tricky, huh. Just remember -- "special effects." Always with an "e."
OK, now you're armed with the basic tools to NOT SOUND LIKE AN IDIOT when IM'ing, emailing, writing correspondance, writing papers, business plans, blah blah blah. Don't fail me.
Last night as I was waiting for the F train, a crazy man was shouting at me.
It was one of your typical, raving lunatic types. You're standing there, waiting for a train to come along, and he's sitting there, spitting and moaning and mumbling and screaming for you to "Get out of the way, bitch! Get! Off! My! Track! Get the FUCK away you fucking bitch. I'm gonna get in the track and get you, you bitch." He was sitting on one of the benches, lolling about, his anger a palpable sensation along my back. He was SEETHING with anger. At first, I wasn't even sure if he was directing his loose ramblings towards me, but when I glanced his way, I saw that he was leaned over, elbow upon knee, staring right at me, muttering his, "Get the fuck off my track, bitch"'s.
Well of course I refused to let him scare me, though my heart was hammering away inside me. I stood there, outwardly calm, leafing through my Crate & Barrel catalog. I realized at that moment that I didn't blame him for being pissed at me. I mean, I had clean clothes, a large shopping bag from Crate & Barrel on my arm, subway fare home. Obviously a good, clean, well-maintained life. So yea, why not be bitter. But then after a few minutes, the man actually lurched to his feet and started towards me! I was freaked! But I refused to cower or walk away -- to show any signs of fear would allow him to feel power over me, so I refused to react. Then, he suddenly turned, flopped to the ground, crawled to the edge of the platform, and hung his arm and head over the edge, as though fumbling for something along the walls of the track. He lay there for a few moments, and I quickly glanced around. I noticed that the other people nearby were all carefully averting their eyes from the scene. I was frozen -- should I approach him, and tell him to get out of the way of the soon-to-be-arriving train? Or should I go upstairs and call for the station guard to assist him? I was afraid that if I approached the guy, he would attack me. But I was afraid if I left the scene to get the security agent, I would be too late to avert disaster!
Then a young man wearing a black leather jacket strode past, computer laptop bag strung over his shoulder. I think he was of Indian descent, or Pakistani. He walked right up to the crazed man, leaned down and asked if he needed any help. He told him that he ought to move out of the way, since there might be a train coming. The man looked at his savior as though *he* were insane. He muttered some reply, and the good samaritan insisted again that the prone man get up and move to the chair. There was a quiet exchange, and then he reached down, gently took hold of the lunatic's arm, and helped him to his feet. They walked over to the chair together, and then the young man nonchalantly walked back to the platform edge to wait for his train.
A middle-aged black man wearing an African t-shirt and knit cap, watching the entire scene unfold, approached the Indian and told him, "Thank you." He then walked over to the crazy man and handed him $2. We all stood and waited for the train, which was not long in coming.
Once on the train, I felt the gaze of the middle-aged man upon me. He seemed condemning, or at least disappointed that I hadn't done anything to help, even though I obviously looked well-dressed enough to afford to. I didn't know how to tell him that I had been scared, that the man had been screaming and calling me "Bitch!" I didn't know how to tell him that I had been frozen with indecision (go help him, possibly get attacked, or run for help and be too late?), not frozen of heart.
So now that I've been single for a while, many of my friends are trying to matchmake me and they inevitably ask me what I'm looking for in a guy. I've actually thought about this a lot over the past 4, 5 years. Sad, I know. Some of my required traits:
-Confidence -- self-assurance is soooo sexy to me.
-Intelligence -- I simply can't stand stupid people. My sister calls me an intellectual snob.
-Passion -- I need someone who cares about things. It doesn't matter what those interests are, but he should evidence an honest and passionate concern for those interests, be it sports, politics, film, whatever. Of course, I would prefer someone who was into the same kinds of things as I am, but I'm trying not to be too limiting here.
-Stillness -- someone who doesn't need to jibber jabber all day. Somone who can just be quiet and let his confidence and innate sense of self speak on its own.
-Reliable -- this is ESSENTIAL. I need a man who keeps his word. In every way. I'm not saying just keeps his promises. I think every word we speak should be a promise. Everything a person says to their significant other should come from the heart, from a position of truth. If you say, "We should go on a weekend trip," then you'd better fucking mean it. Otherwise, don't even say it.
Additionally, I would like it if:
-He's not a "suit" -- I have never been into finance guys, consulting guys, business types, and LEAST of all business school people. I think it's disgusting when a person's sole interest is making money. Now, of course I know a lot of perfectly nice people who fit this description, and I consider them friends, but I would NEVER date them. I just can't respect that.
-He loves his work -- and is good at what he does. I admire excellence and determination without compromising morals. If that means he's a teacher, I am all for it. I hate people who are sloppy about their work because they don't care.
-He can command respect -- because he knows what he's talking about.
Notice that I don't mention looks at all -- it's because I believe in instant chemistry, as I blogged before. Sometimes I'm attracted to hot guys, sometimes "ugly" guys. It's all about the aura. It's not so much what he looks like, what his build is, or how tall he is. It's that confidence displayed in the way he carries himself. It's the kindness and respect revealed in the way he treats women that lacks any "weakness" and instead demonstrates his inner strength and conviction. It's his ability to laugh at himself with humility but without self-deprecation. It's the way he loves his family and the pride he shows in his mother.
And if he's successful, into hip hop, digs independent films, loves full-figured women, enjoys cooking, and keeps himself clean that would be an extra bonus. :-) I like a little scuffiness in the appearance (yes to five o' clock shadow, no to prudes) but not at home.
Oh the one physical requirement is that he be taller than I am and weigh more than 150lbs. I am NOT about to date someone who wears smaller jeans than I do.
